


tied.

by AiFrost



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dreams, Incest, M/M, Mutual Pining, Twincest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:42:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiFrost/pseuds/AiFrost
Summary: "'Samu, yer my other half."They were born for each other. There's no need for them to have their soulmate mark on their skin, they both have each other.But even after knowing that clear truth... Things still get complicated.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Miya Osamu
Comments: 27
Kudos: 111





	1. soulmate mark and longings

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 : Soulmate AU  
> Day 2 : Timeskip  
> #TsumuSamu2020
> 
> I hope this clusterfuck of a fic works :)  
> Maybe I'm gonna fail with trying to mix all the prompt into one fic but at least it's for the miya twins. It's already a win for me.

Atsumu and Osamu were born without a soulmate mark. 

It was a big problem when they were little, as they found everyone has it, but not them. They asked their parents about it, they asked their teacher about it, but none has the exact answer, no one can decipher this anomaly other than bad luck. 

But their mother, by far, has the best answer. 

"Ya don't need a soulmate mark, Atsumu... Ya have Osamu, right? Life has already decided to not let you be alone since you were born."

That night, after his mother said that, he didn't sleep at all. Eyes wide open as the epiphany swirls on his mind. He stayed quiet until he thought he couldn't. 

Slowly, quietly climbing down from his top bunk, Atsumu takes a peek of Osamu, still lulled by dreams. But when Atsumu gets under the cover, the younger twin opens his eyes a bit, revealing hazy stormy orbs. 

"... 'Tsumu?" he called, trying to reach out for his blurry brother. 

Atsumu caught his brother's hands in the middle, and brought it closer to his lips, peppering it with gentle kisses. 

"'Samu," he answered, "Yer my other half."

"Mm..."

Seems like his brother doesn't catch what he said, but whatever, Atsumu is already happy enough to know the truth.

He doesn't need a soulmate, he has Osamu already.

\--

Since that night, Osamu's life is never quiet.

Since he was pulled from his dreamless slumber, felt butterflies touching the tip of his fingers, and a blurry Atsumu saying something while smiling, Osamu's life is never quiet. 

Atsumu is loud, deafening, especially when he's with Osamu. And Osamu will always complain, always reject his brother's affection, harshly or sometimes gently as he actually finds comfort in it but too prideful to say it. 

Atsumu always found a way to take his hand, to engulf him in annoyance or a comforting warmth. But one thing he missed from the blond the most is mapping their soulmate mark. 

They were born without one, because they were born for each other. If you meet your soulmate right away, what's the point of having a soulmate mark, Atsumu said to him back in the days. And well, it's not like Osamu cared about it. But now he missed his brother's brilliant idea. 

The older twin came to their room with a sharpie one day and told him to get rid of his t-shirt. Of course Osamu didn't budge. Rather, he threw a disgusted look to his brother. 

"Oh come on, 'Samu! I'm not gonna do anything stupid!"

"Still not believing ya," Osamu pulled his top clothing, "Why do I need to be half naked anyway?" 

"We're both boys, 'Samu. It shouldn't be a big deal," Atsumu shrugged. 

He gets closer to Osamu's back, and Osamu can never forget the gentle breath that tickled his skin before he felt a blunt object touch his epidermis, moving from one point then dragged long enough to the other. 

"... What are ya doing?" he finally asked as he watched Atsumu's face show concentration from the mirror in front of them. 

"Drawing yer soulmate mark."

"... I thought ya said we don't need one."

"Yeah, but ya sometimes look sad whenever I talk about it."

Atsumu met his eyes with him in the mirror, earnest hazel meets surprised grey ones. They lingered there, stayed as if time freezes them in mid July.

Looking back, it was more like Osamu can't look away. He never stops and takes his time to see his brother's eyes in another light, rather than knowing it's only one of the things that people can use to tell who is who. But now he did, and he's enchanted with gentleness pouring from that simple stare. 

Now he craves it. For the tip of a sharpie on his back and the itchiness that followed after that. For Atsumu's finger, mapping something that he can't see. For his finger to linger on his twin's skin, relishing the warmth as he thinks about a suitable soulmate mark for Atsumu. For the feeling of being full. 

Everything that he wants is simply out of reach in his lonely apartment in Tokyo. And even though everything that he wants is only one call away and some hours for him to get here, Osamu turned his phone off, place it on the study desk far away from the bed. 

The raven feels like tonight is going to be a long one whether he wants it or not. The gears in his head won't stop working, every beat his heart emits will feel a bit painful, the air will be suffocating to breath as lonely and dark clings ever so tightly to his heart. They refused to comfort him like other nights when the quiet is tranquil. Instead, they made him toss and turn, kicking the blanket away. 

It's the worst way to end the day, being vulnerable and closing all of his sensory to focus on what's happening inside. 

But like any other nights, he drowns, in darkness, in indescribable sadness, in loneliness. And that's when the havoc truly begins.


	2. "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." 
> 
> That's all he can say to press what he truly wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite being old and read fanfic for years... I still write bad nsfw (aaaaahhh can this even called nsfw?! Idk :'))   
> Well, at least it's a step forward. Writing new things is indeed fun despite the embarrassment I feel for this chapter.   
> Hope you like it :)

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

Osamu hears himself say that, but can't see anything as everything before him is dark. 

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

He hears himself recite it again, and there comes the tinge of pain, annoying, buzzing, swirling like a typhoon inside of him. 

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

Sinned? What sin? 

Everyone knows he's the better twin, the more obedient twin, the quiet and polite twin. Everyone was fooled with his calm demeanour while his brother is the more brave type who's not afraid to show it, to show to the world about who he is. Save for the soft parts, that's special for Osamu only. 

Then Osamu thought, maybe his sin was pride. 

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

No, it doesn't feel like it's the right answer, or maybe it's just close but not entirely correct. 

Then what is it? What sin has he done? 

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

"Trying to be a saint aren't ya, 'Samu?"

Osamu can feel himself jolt in surprise, both in the dreamland and real world. That voice shouldn't feel foreign, it's the same annoying voice he heard for years. But yet… this one is different. 

He can hear how velvety it was. How honey drops from every word then sticks to the palate of his mouth. It was sweetly sickening, breathtaking as he can only imagine… Atsumu is smiling as he says those words with whatever he meant with it. 

"Did ya miss me?" Atsumu taunted, "Did ya miss me touching yer back as we draw our soulmate mark?"

As if that low voice isn't enough to send shivers through Osamu's spine, he now can feel something sharp traced his back. His breath hitched, gasping in surprise. The trail feels hot, burning like a small river of lava just made from it. 

But it feels good. It's overwhelming, but good, Osamu thought as he's still blind and hyper aware with what he felt. 

"I hope ya do, 'Samu… I do miss being close to ya like this."

"So why don't ya accept yer feelings and come back to me, yeah?"

He can't, his pride will definitely not let him go back. It was him who decided to go away, separate them who meant to be side by side.

He has nothing left if he returned to his old home. Then what's the point of going back? Right? 

No, of course there's still something for him there. His whole world is there, in the battlefield he left just because he felt inadequate; his love for volleyball is a tad bit lesser than Atsumu, yet it brings a great gap between them. All of this business degree and wanting to pursue in culinary is just a big bluff for him and for everyone else, but the most important is, it was a lie for Osamu's own heart. 

So he can't say anything more than something that his lips remember, thick with hesitancy and guilt.

"... Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

The raven hears his brother click his tongue, something he usually does when he's annoyed. 

"Yer no fun, 'Samu."

Osamu thought it's the tension that's thinning the air, but then he feels the warm hand wrapped around his neck like a perfect fit, as if it was meant to be there despite the long claws. 

"Father…" Osamu gasped when he felt a hot breath on his ear, "forgive me for I have sinned."

"Is it that hard to give up? It's not like ya gonna lose anything. Rather, ya get what ya always want, right?" 

Atsumu's left hand slithers down and down, teasing, touching, but never more than just brief contact, anything that makes Osamu see stars and plead for more in whimpers and cries. 

"Fah-Father…"

"'Samu…"

"Ah!"

It was only a pull, and he's already trembling in pleasure, lost his concentration to sanity. And it's all Atsumu's fault. 

"My fault? Isn't it because ya keep ignoring what yer heart wants?"

Osamu was brought back to the mid july where he drew a devil on his twin's back as a soulmate mark; a small, black one complete with tiny horns. Osamu was brought back to when they stared at each other in the mirror, but this time he's on his knees, as vulnerable as ever, face tainted with fresh red of desire and lust, eyes that once clouded now widen in surprise. 

While Atsumu? Well he's just being a lil devil like Osamu always thought, but now with black horns and claws around his neck. 

"'Samu…" the blond called again, inching closer to the younger's shoulder, revealing pearly white fangs, "I want you…" 

And Osamu can only close his eyes as he sees white.

\--

Osamu woke up with the alarm sound bouncing from one wall to the other, filling his morning with a lively tune. 

Osamu would have got up and prepared for class on usual days, but not now. Not when he feels dampness in his boxers, adrenaline in his blood, and Atsumu in his mind. 

Atsumu, what a devil he is. Osamu can only pray the evil twin gets a punishment for this. 

Or should he be thankful? Devil Atsumu is just doing his job after all, revealing his deepest secret he's been trying to push aside. 

It's just him who's trying to be a saint, isn't it?


	3. "Long live the king."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Osamu has a castle of a heart. 
> 
> Below the forest of ivory pillars and grand bedroom, is a dungeon where Osamu kept his beloved away from the outside world, away from the judging eyes. 
> 
> "Long live the king, Miya Osamu."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I assure you this chapter is not inspired by Lion King, nor that I watch Lion King while working on this chapter.   
> Now I can only imagine Atsumu as Scar and Osamu as Mufasa fUCK SEND HELP SEND A PSYCHOLOGIST OR A HUSKY FOR ME TO PAT  
> Anyway, enjoy the angst :)

Osamu's dream always starts in front of a mirror, and everytime he sees himself, of course he'll remember his twin. But now, those hazel eyes are nowhere to be found in this grand room. 

Cladded in some kind of royalty clothes, complete with a robe that almost reached the red carpet, Osamu found himself engulfed with something familiar. It always comes when Atsumu is not around, wagging his tail and annoying him to death. Loneliness and longing has a tight grip on his heart, making him want to flee from this strange bedroom right away. 

Osamu finds himself in a labyrinth after he opens that ivory door. Following the red carpet, he only sees tall pillars, so many like the roof is too heavy, like a forest but without life bustling in every direction. It's just him, with his steps muffled by the thick fabric on the floor, with eyes darting everywhere as he tried to find a way out. And when Osamu found the stairs, it only led down. 

So he goes down and down, until white and ivory turns murky and dark, drywalls turn to stones covered in moss, sculpted pillars to dangling chains and straight iron bars, red carpet to wet puddles. 

It's a dungeon, and Osamu felt all of the rooms he passed were familiar to him. At first, it was like a wild guess, but now Osamu realize he remembered the way here. He's been here before, walking through empty cells to the only one that has a door. 

The hinge creaks when he pushes the wooden door, alerting someone inside. 

"... 'Samu?"

"'Tsumu? 'Tsumu!"

Chained to the walls, Atsumu can't do much more than just look up to his twin as he's sitting on the cold ground. The blond didn't say anything as the younger tried to yank and find some sort of key hole on the shackles. He just stares in silence, eyes following his brother's hurried movement as if they're going to get caught in any second. But Atsumu knows what secrets crawling here, what place is this, and for how goddamn long he's trapped in this place. 

So instead of being infected by Osamu's fear, he only responds calmly with a voice close to whispering. 

"What are ya doing in here, 'Samu?"

"Are ya blind?! I'm getting ya out of here!"

"If yer getting me out of here, ya won't be here, yanking my limbs around ya stupid."

"Huh? Then what am I supposed to do?"

Atsumu shrugged, dodging the grey orbs. "I dunno. Yer the only one who has the answer."

"It's not the time to play games, 'Tsumu!" 

"Oh that sounds fun. Should we play? Maybe volleyball like the old times?"

It's weird when there's no spark of joy in Atsumu's eyes when he says volleyball, no lips tugged upward, nothing but only emotionless stares, drilling holes to Osamu's skull. 

"'Tsumu…"

Cupping the older's cheek, Osamu can feel cold biting his fingers. His heart aches as he sees his brother in such state; dead in the eyes, pale, withering. 

First he saw Atsumu as a demon, and now this? How much longer will this torturous nightmare go on?

Of course Osamu knows the answer to that. He truly knows what he needs to do to stop this havoc. But really, he doesn't want to surrender; now or whenever. This is wrong and maybe even more than that, forbidden, disgusting, unacceptable. Even if they were soulmates, brothers shouldn't date each other. 

Not all soulmates can be together, and maybe they just meant to be like this and not more. 

He knows that, yet he still years for it, for the forbidden fruit he shouldn't even touch and take. This is his punishment, to be in loneliness clutches, to see his twin towed into the darkness with him. 

Atsumu reaches for Osamu's hand and smiles, before he whispers something. 

"Long live the king."

"Ya always resent me, hate me, don't ya, 'Samu? That's why ya keep me here, in the lowest part of yer heart, where sun doesn't shine, the safest place in your core."

"Long live the king."

"I was born for ya, and I may think ya were my other half. But then, it's all clear now. Ya were born for the kingdom, not someone else. So, long live the king. Long live for the better twin. Long live for yer egoistic and cowardly heart."

"Long live the king, Miya Osamu."

Atsumu placed the golden crown on Osamu's head, and Osamu hated how the gold weighed him down. 

\--

"It was me who drew that crown, ya stupid…"

Whimpers escaped Osamu's trembling lips as he dived deeper into his covers. Morning is nigh, but his soul still hangs with the night, unable to move on, not when the nightmare is still fresh in his mind, not when Atsumu is not here and talks to him about soulmate things, about how they're connected no matter what.

You were born for me. 

You're my other half. 

What's the point of having a soulmate mark if you meet them right away?

Osamu wants to hear that. He yearns for it and he could die if he doesn't get it.

"'Tsumu, I-"

Love you. Deeply, violently in their banters, quietly in late nights, longingly in tears. 

It hurts him when he's out of his world, out of reach, out of sight. 

If soulmates only bring destruction to him, then Osamu wishes there's no such thing as soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Not all soulmate can be together, and maybe they just meant to be like this and not more."
> 
> Haha


	4. "I wish..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Osamu knows he's already lucky with having Atsumu as his soulmate. He don't need to search for his one and only. 
> 
> But Osamu is a greedy human. He wants more than that.

Actually, Osamu takes his words back. 

Soulmates are a wonderful thing, a gift, a grace. Destined for the one and only, connected in such depth that no one can reach, accepted and held like you're a dream they never want to let go. 

Osamu doesn't know how it feels to found his soulmate, as he doesn't have the compass to find one. But he sometimes imagines how it feels. 

Maybe it feels like when he played hide and seek with Atsumu. When the sky turns orange with tints of pink and thin clouds, when his twin took too much time to find him, tears already gathered, threatening to fall. When he's on his lowest, his soulmate finds him. It was glad, it was happiness. Maybe that's what people felt when they found their one and only. 

Maybe it feels like knowing Atsumu has been stealing his pile of hidden snacks. It was bubbling anger for not knowing all this time, it was glad for the house is not haunted. 

Maybe it feels like this, Osamu thought as he rested his chin on Atsumu's shoulder. It feels like being engulfed wholly in bliss. All emotions mixed into one and turns out to be love and adoration. 

What does it feel to be vulnerable but loved? 

Osamu wishes he knows. Osamu wishes he could experience it. 

Osamu wishes he could hug Atsumu, romantically. Kiss, touch, linger, leave trails of roses and hydrangeas on his skin. Osamu wished they could melt into one, as they were one soul divided into two, parts that completed each other. 

Osamu wish…

"Ya were born for me, 'Tsumu. As I was born for ya."

He wish… 

"And I wish… nothing can separate us."

"Even though we went into different path, ya with yer volley career, me with food, I wish there won't be a gap, there won't be pride that hold us in solitary, there won't be sleepless night just because we slept in a single bed and not in our bunk bed."

"I wish ya were here."

"And if I do, what will ya do, 'Samu?"

"I'll hug ya."

"And?"

"I'll… kiss ya?"

"On the lips?"

"No, ya greedy."

Atsumu pouts, puffing his cheeks as he doesn't get what he wants. 

"... I'll say it."

"Ya will?"

"Mm," Osamu nods, a gentle smile on his lips and determination in his eyes. 

"I'll say that I love you."

It's the nicest dream Osamu has ever had, and in the morning, he was woken up by a knock on his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one is short :')   
> Still thinking about what Atsumu drew :')   
> I have a few ideas but feels like non of them will be perfect 😩


	5. Soulmate, Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, all they have to do is be vulnerable to each other. 
> 
> Their desire and dreams are never far as they were inseparable.

"What are ya now huh, 'Tsumu? My sugar daddy?"

"Hey! At least I didn't ask ya for sex!"

Osamu looks up, averting his eyes from the pile of snacks on the bed to Atsumu. 

"... Do ya want to then?"

"Wh-" the blond's mouth fall, hanging for a second as red creeps to his cheeks and ears, "'Samu!" 

"Mm?" Osamu can only hum as his mouth is full with a whole onigiri. 

"... Nothing."

It's fun to see his older brother like this. Red and flustered, keeping his guard up with stealing some glances at Osamu. 

Like a rose, ready to be picked. 

"Ya haven't answered my question, 'Tsumu."

"Why do ya even ask that?! Does college do this to ya? How many girls ya've slept with- ya know what? Never mind. I don't wanna know."

"None."

"... None?"

"Yeah, none. Can't even bring myself to get too close with someone else… when all in my head is ya, 'Tsumu."

"Wha- 'Samu!"

"Yes, 'Tsumu?"

"Don't… don't play dumb with me! What's wrong with ya?!"

"What's wrong with me…" Osamu ponders, "I think it’s because I made a promise to the Dream Atsumu."

"... Excuse me?" 

"I promised him that I'll hug ya."

Osamu launched himself from his place, right to his brother's arms whether Atsumu was ready or not, ignoring the crunched sound of weeks worth of snacks below him. 

"And I promised him that I'll kiss ya."

"...On the lips?"

Osamu scoffed. "'Course not, greedy 'Tsumu."

The gap between them lessens as Osamu moves forward, placing a kiss on his twin's forehead. 

"I love ya, 'Tsumu. It's probably too late, ya can call me slow later but for now I just want ya to know. I love ya. Yer my soulmate. I'm glad I don't need to search for ya to the end of the world, though if life wants me to do it, I'll do anything to meet ya. Yer my other half. Thank ya for being born for me."

Does the chain rattles? Does the dungeon finally crumble down? Does the Atsumu he kept is finally free? Does his crown finally rust?

Osamu thought about it, about his dreams, about the Atsumu he met in his dreams. But everything evaporated when Atsumu decided to take the lead, pinning him down, catching his lips with his. 

It's like a heavy burden just lifted from his chest as Osamu sighs in content, pressing himself more to Atsumu as his body craves for more. 

Catching, swallowing each other's breath and voice. Moving in sync, in the same feel of longing and craving, in the same love that they've been holding for so long. 

".... It's not fair, 'Samu," Atsumu started as the younger is still trying to catch his breath, "I came here to say the same thing, yet ya just turned up being blunt with yer feelings."

"Isn't it supposed to be me? Why are we swapping characters in times like this?" 

"So ya bought snacks in order to take my heart? I knew there's something else when ya said it's for me."

"Is it wrong to pamper my baby brother?"

"No, not at all," Osamu smiles, drowning in those hazel eyes once more. 

"At least ya can take the lead for one thing, 'Tsumu."

"And? What's that?" the blond smirks, ignoring his brother's needs. 

"Ya will figure it out soon enough," Osamu said as he closed their gap again. 

Now that he can do whatever he wants (and of course Atsumu can do whatever he wants as well), Osamu just wishes he did this sooner. 

There's nothing more beautiful than feeling complete. 

\--

"What did ya draw for my soulmate mark, 'Tsumu?"

"Mm… "

The said male only hums as he's still concentrating on his brother's back, drawing something with a sharpie. 

"Is it still the same as when you draw it for the first time?" 

"Mm? Mm…"

"I'll move if ya don't answer."

"Don't ya dare ruining my masterpiece."

"Then answer."

The tip of the sharpie retreats, replaced by a gentle blow from the older twin.

"Us."

"... Us?"

"Yeah."

"Lemme see."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Cuz…" Atsumu lowers his voice, "It's only a pair of stickmen."

"Not surprised. Yer shit at drawing."

"Hey! At least I draw that because it has a wonderful meaning behind it!" 

"Oh yeah?" Osamu grows curious, "What is it?" 

"Do ya remember that greek myth mom read for us?"

"Which one?"

"Castor and Pollux."

"The gemini story?"

"Yeah. The constellation looks like two stickmen holding hands to me."

"I wanna be mortal with ya, 'Samu."

Osamu chuckles. "Ya don't wanna be immortal together?" 

"That's a good idea. But then… I don't care as long as I'm with ya."

"Mm… Same here."

They hold hands and dream, not about immortality, not about a long life, or how they'll clean up the mess tomorrow. Those things can wait. They dream about how they'll go from this point, from their lowest place in their lives, together. They dream about how they'll go, hand in hand, in the same umbrella of love. They dream about busy days with quick messages, and short, passionate nights. They dream about how high they'll fly, together. 

After that, they'll realise. All of that is not a dream. All of that isn't some star, high up in the sky for them to reach. It's in them, always. It's always up to them to be together. And now that they've taken the big step, the things they've dreamed about is not a dream anymore. 

They were mortals with gods' strength. They've made their own dreams real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done!!   
> Thank you so muuucchh for following this fic til the end!!   
> Thank you for the kudos and lifting comments!! You guys are just the best!! 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕
> 
> See ya in another fic then?   
> If you want more miyacest or maybe wanna ramble with me about them, feel free to dm me on my [ Twitter!](https://twitter.com/AiFrost9?s=09)


End file.
